I slept twelve hours last night. I am working through understanding whether my sleep is overindulgent, lazy and depressed or healthy, gentle and healing. I've always struggled with perceptions of sleep and my relationship with it. My choice at this moment is to see sleep as a deeply restorative practice during this transition (especially after my first Bikram Yoga class).
To complement that deep restoration, I am finding it important to do a few things each day that are stimulating: meditation whether moving or still, physical exercise (Bikram, hiking, moving a U-haul full of personal effects from Sacramento to Sonoma), clean eating, reading and writing. All of this with gentle awareness- with full breathing, with gratitude and appreciation.
... so, today, I did move the rest of my material possessions (save a few things I left for my mama) from Sacramento to Sonoma. Ringing in my head as I drove away was the idea that nothing is left for me in Sacramento except for walls with a roof and a job from which I am transitioning. It feels empty and it echoes in Sacramento. There are a few friendships there, but this saying from an unknown author haunts me while I discern the direction of those friendships: "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do." So, it echoes and it is haunting... it is the shell of what I thought life was supposed to be.
I listened to Aloe Blacc on the ride home and this lyric from this song spoke to me:
Mama, hold my hand
I don't think I can cross this road by myself
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